The Christmas Tree from H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks...

a/k/a "The Nightmare Before Christmas" (with apologies to Tim Burton)

This is a classic story about our worst Christmas tree tagging experience ever, in 1991. Read on if you dare...

In late October, John and I went with my parents to tag our Christmas trees, an annual tradition. Dad saw a tree that he thought was great for John and me to have in our small apartment - we agreed and tagged it. Nearly 1 1/2 hours later, my mother still hadn't found her "perfect" tree at our usual tree farm and decided that she wanted to look at the other tree farm nearby. In the interest of family diplomacy, Dad agreed. After 45 more minutes and two hayrides around Tree Farm #2 later, Dad's newly healed broken ankle was in bad shape - so he stomped off to the car, muttering something about "never doing this again." Finally, Mom found a suitable tree and tagged it, much to our relief.

Unfortunately, the saga didn't end there. In early December, we returned to the tree frams to pick up our trees. John and I claimed our tree with no hassles. Dad, however, searched for nearly an hour for Mom's tree (Mom was working, so Dad was the lone reconaissance man). Apparently, someone misread a tree tag and took Mom's tree! It was up to Dad, John and me to find a substitute tree. John found a huge, very full tree that we all agreed was a good tree, so we brought it home.

Fortunately, Mom couldn't remember exactly what the tree she selected looked like. She saw "her" tree and was thrilled.

"Didn't I pick a beautiful tree?", she asked.

Sure, Mom. You did a great job.

Thanks for listening!

Random's Greatest Hits #3: The Importance of Voting

This one's from September 2004...and has special meaning today because my friend the ex-Town Council member is running for his old seat again, in a special election prompted by the sudden resignation of the guy who beat him by ten votes back in '04.

Good luck this time, Bill!!! :)

Why don't people vote? I know it's a very complex issue, but it recently hit home when a long-time (ok, from way back in junior high) friend of mine who is a Town Council member in a neighboring town lost what should have been a runaway primary challenge against a muck-raking agitator...by ten votes.

Ten lousy votes.

Turns out that only about 500 people in his district bothered to turn out for the primary election...and many people he's spoken with since have told him that they figured it would be an easy win for him, so they "didn't bother" to go to the polls.

Swell.

Folks, voting is not only your constitutional right, it is your personal chance to make a statement about how your government -- local, state, and federal -- is run, and by whom. If you don't let your voice be heard, you have no right to complain about what everyone who does bother to vote decides is the "right" thing to do.

So, the message is clear: VOTE. Get your friends and family to vote. Be an active part of the political process...especially if you are a member of the gender that's had the right to vote for less than 100 years, or the race that's only been allowed to vote for slightly longer. People who've long since passed away fought hard for their rights and yours, and the least you can do is exercise those rights every couple of years. It's very easy, and takes only a few minutes.

If you don't vote, don't come crying to me when something happens in your city, state or federal government that you don't like...

Thanks for listening,

- Laurie :)

Random's Greatest Hits #2: Weird Car Names

Also from July, 2004...

(With apologies to George Carlin, who elaborated on this topic better than I ever could in his book "Braindroppings")

This weekend when I was out on the town, I saw a Porsche SUV...which in itself was quite weird, but got weirder still when I saw the model name for the car: "Cayenne".

What is wrong with that picture??

First of all, if you're going to drive a Porsche, why not drive one of those fire-engine red, midlife-crisis specials instead of an SUV? Secondly, Cayenne? A car named for a spice? I almost expect the "I'm spicy!" guy from the Burger King ads to do a commercial..."the Porsche Cayenne -- it's spicy! "

Back in the day, cars used to have cool names -- or at least names that implied that the car could haul some serious...well, you know. Names like "Mustang", "Barracuda", "Camaro" were not models you wanted to race against when racing for "pinks". Even "El Dorado" and "Mark V" had some gusto to them.

Not anymore.

Car names have declined in "street cred" for years, going back to when I was in high school. The first car my parents let me drive exclusively was a 1980 Ford Fairmont. Fairmont? Sounds like a hotel -- "when you're in town, stay at the Fairmont...the continental breakfast is divine!" Another family car was the Plymouth Volare -- it's hard to tool down the highway when you have Dean Martin singing the name of your car in your head.

Now, we have cars like "Elantra", "Camry", "Sephia"...and "Cayenne". How can we be taken seriously with car names that sound like china patterns and food?

At least Unky Herb (Homer's long-lost brother from "The Simpsons") had the good sense not to let his marketing people call his new car the "Persephone" :)

Thanks for listening,

- Laurie :)

Random's Greatest Hits #1: The Unusual Demands of Rock Stars

Hi all,

Here's the first of Random's "greatest hits", originally published in July of 2004...enjoy!

Recently I checked out the website thesmokinggun.com, and they've got a whole section of their site devoted to the contract "riders" used by musicians and other performers when they agree to play a concert venue. Naturally, I couldn't resist the urge to check out the, um, unusual things that people request...so here are my thoughts:

- Ok, I can understand that during a performance the artists can get sweaty under all those lights...but does every performer need six white terrycloth towels? Why six? Are the towels that small and unabsorbent? Is there an unwritten rule that for consistency's sake, everyone has to ask for six towels? Imagine the uproar if someone only needed five! In any event, I feel sorry for the person who gets stuck washing all those towels ;)

- If some artists are so picky about what can and can't be served as a pre-concert meal at the venue, why don't they just hire personal chefs who can cook things "right" every night?

- Whose idea was it to request underwear from the venue? If I asked my boss to give me a six-pack of Hanes Her Way in addition to my paycheck, he'd laugh me right out of the office! Surely Fruit of the Loom or Hanes can cut a deal with Joe Rockstar to keep him in fresh tighty-whities in exchange for a promotional ad or three...or (gasp!) maybe Joe Rockstar can go to Target/Kmart/whatever and buy his own underwear like the rest of us!

- Three little words: "no brown M&Ms".

Thanks for listening,

- Laurie :)

Moving Day!

Hi all, and welcome to the new home of Random Synapse Firings (and Misfirings!) Our old home was hiding in the "Journals" section of a certain three-letter ISP ;). However, since my other blog is through Blogger (tghs85.blogspot.com) I decided that I would be more apt to update my personal blog (and more people would actually read it!) if it were through Blogger as well.

Just to give new readers a taste of what Random has in store, I'll be publishing some of my "greatest hits" from Random's old home. In addition to my "op-ed" pieces, I'll also be using Random to keep faraway friends and family up to date on what's going on at Casa Seubert!

Thanks for listening!